This week have been very chaotic. Work was messy. Home was messy. Everything was messy!

Well I guess work have always been messy, so it's really a norm lah...but home was more messy than before! My brother for the first time after soooo long really pushed me to the limits of my patience...I snapped! I mouthed the one word I would never ever wanna tell him...

I told him to move out.

Never expected myself to say that...but I did. I told him to move out. I couldn't stand his egoistical self. I couldn't tolerate his demanding and stubborn behaviour.

And I for one CANNOT take his mentality of "The ENTIRE WORLD OWES HIM A LIVING!"

Ever since after my mum left for a better place (heaven lah~!), I have been doing all I could (with Claudia by my side) to keep the family going, to keep the family together. Because I promised my mum that I will keep the family together...

Many times I want to give up. Many times I want to throw in the towel. But I told myself and God, "I will survive... I will keep the last promise I made to my mum..."

I did all I could to give the best to this family, by compromising my well-being (and inadvertly compromising Claudia's). Yet I still did not get the basic understanding and support from my very own brother....And I thought after my mum's demise, my brother would mature and grow up....sadly my mum was correct...During one of the night talks I had with her when she was in the hospital, she said that my brother will never learn or mature after she goes...she even said that my brother will leave this family after she goes...Viola~! My mum is correct! I reckoned it's true when they say "Mothers knows best"....


One of the many things he said which really bled my heart was this, "I have no one in this world! I am alone...yes I am alone!"

The one question came to my mind...."Who am I to him??"

Have I been sheltering my brother too much that he took me for granted?
Have I not done my part as a brother to make sure all is well?
Have I not done my part as this head of the family good enough?


I dunno....after so long, I once again felt helpless and lost...I really hope the "Prodigal Son" would be applicable here....

God, help! I need a lifeline...can I poll the audience? How about "50-50" ??


Tired Tjowster Out~!

This week have been very chaotic. Work was messy. Home was messy. Everything was messy!

Well I guess work have always been messy, so it's really a norm lah...but home was more messy than before! My brother for the first time after soooo long really pushed me to the limits of my patience...I snapped! I mouthed the one word I would never ever wanna tell him...

I told him to move out.

Never expected myself to say that...but I did. I told him to move out. I couldn't stand his egoistical self. I couldn't tolerate his demanding and stubborn behaviour.

And I for one CANNOT take his mentality of "The ENTIRE WORLD OWES HIM A LIVING!"

Ever since after my mum left for a better place (heaven lah~!), I have been doing all I could (with Claudia by my side) to keep the family going, to keep the family together. Because I promised my mum that I will keep the family together...

Many times I want to give up. Many times I want to throw in the towel. But I told myself and God, "I will survive... I will keep the last promise I made to my mum..."

I did all I could to give the best to this family, by compromising my well-being (and inadvertly compromising Claudia's). Yet I still did not get the basic understanding and support from my very own brother....And I thought after my mum's demise, my brother would mature and grow up....sadly my mum was correct...During one of the night talks I had with her when she was in the hospital, she said that my brother will never learn or mature after she goes...she even said that my brother will leave this family after she goes...Viola~! My mum is correct! I reckoned it's true when they say "Mothers knows best"....


One of the many things he said which really bled my heart was this, "I have no one in this world! I am alone...yes I am alone!"

The one question came to my mind...."Who am I to him??"

Have I been sheltering my brother too much that he took me for granted?
Have I not done my part as a brother to make sure all is well?
Have I not done my part as this head of the family good enough?


I dunno....after so long, I once again felt helpless and lost...I really hope the "Prodigal Son" would be applicable here....

God, help! I need a lifeline...can I poll the audience? How about "50-50" ??


Tired Tjowster Out~!